Mental Dystrophy
by Lucylyles
Summary: All Deku wanted was to be a hero. But after years of bullying and after learning that he’d never be one, he goes down a different path, all thanks to the help of his first friend - his first bully - his first enemy. Rated for language, mentions of suicide, self-harm, suicidal ideation and later descriptions of gore, violence, torture, and possible mentionings of sexual themes.
1. Regrets

Bakugou Katsuki had never once felt regret in his life. Not even when he started bullying Midoriya Izuku. Not even when he convinced all of their classmates over the years to bully his childhood friend along with him. _Not even when he told Izuku to commit suicide._

He was too proud to feel anything but pride, rage, and hatred. Pride in his incredible strength and Quirk. Rage when he felt that he - someone better than everyone else - was looked down on. Hatred - along with rage, this is what he felt towards Midoriya.

But somehow, now... now he _was_ feeling regret. And not just a small twinge of it. It was like all the regret and sorrow and fear he should have been feeling all these years was hitting him, all at once. It was overwhelming.

What was stupid Deku doing there, with the Villains? Why?! How dumb was he?! He had been _missing_ for a year, making his mom and Katsuki's mom and lots of other people worry, only to show up _now?!_ Like _this?!_ He was glad that Izuku was alive and that he looked healthy, but-! But-!

"The fuck're ya doin', ya stupid Deku?!"

Rage, and maybe even a hint of concern and an even smaller sprinkle of relief dripped from his voice as he gazed upon the green-haired boy and shouted out to him, though his voice became slightly more shrill as his former friend willingly and fearlessly walked right over to the Villains. Willingly and fearlessly took one of their outstretched hands.

Katsuki's comrades had all fallen, bleeding and unconscious and possibly even dead. The only one still standing after the attack, aside from himself and the Villains, was his childhood friend whom he couldn't stand being near - and a Quirkless civilian at that - a Quirkless civilian _whom, again, had been missing for the last year_ \- Midoriya Izuku. Help from more experienced Heroes was still far from them, and they were out of time. Adding to Katsuki's stress, the stupid Hero-loving nerd was going with the enemy?! The hell was going on!

He scowled, baring his teeth when the Villains laughed, but he softened his frown slightly when Izuku finally looked back at him. The look on Izuku's face caused his brain to pause all function. He'd never seen anything but an idiotic smile on the face of his former friend, but this expression was anything but that. Izuku's eyes were tired and dark lines ran deep beneath them. His smile was gone, replaced with nothing but a dead frown as he stared coldly at Katsuki.

"You must be stupid if you can't tell!" A Villain spoke from beside him - a girl with a wide smile and blonde hair. It snapped Katsuki out of his trance.

"The hell ya mean?!" He glowered, shouting back. He was keeping his distance, but her annoying remark paired with Deku being stupidly close to those dangerous people was almost enough to get him to charge. It was taking everything he had in him to not explode from frustration, to not just run over there and pull that idiot away from them and out of danger, to—! To... to be a Hero. The Hero he was training to be.

He was taken off guard again, though, when Deku suddenly smiled. It was lifeless. Filled with hate and suffering and glee and torture all at once. It was... it was wrong. All wrong. Unnatural, especially for someone who was usually so damn happy. It was worse than the frown he was wearing just moments before, and that wasn't something that Katsuki thought would be possible! It caused Katsuki to freeze all over again, his earlier problem of being unable to think repeating, especially when Izuku finally spoke up and addressed him.

"Ah... Ka-! I mean, Bakugou-San." Katsuki almost visibly flinched. Deku never formally addressed him. Even after all those years of bullying and growing up and drifting apart, Deku always called him by the nickname he gave him back when they were kids - Kacchan. "What my _friend_ here means is, well... I'm a _Villain_." He giggled at the end of his boldly-declared statement, his smile still tired and emotionless, but also sickly sweet and full of deception.

"The hell—?!"

"Allow me to elaborate. Remember when you told me how I could become a Hero, Bakugou-San?"

Katsuki felt sweat drip down his face. His eyes widened, his pupils shrinking to the size of pin-pricks. He felt himself start to tremble, and he didn't know why.

"Wha...What does that...?" All at once, his rage was defused.

Izuku simply giggled again, letting Katsuki ponder the meaning for a moment before continuing.

"Well, Bakugou-San, you see... Before I helped you with that Sludge Villain, I ran into All Might. He told me what you and everyone else were always saying... that somebody like me, somebody without a Quirk, could never become a Hero." He averted his eyes, then lazily let them wander back to Katsuki's face after he scanned the surrounding area. Strangely, he seemed surprised to see Katsuki standing before him, as though he had nearly forgotten that Katsuki was there and that he had been speaking to Katsuki in the first place. He almost looked afraid for a split second... then, the surprise dulled down and he was back to how he was before his eyes went adrift, his gaze now fixated on Katsuki rather than being allowed to wander. Just like his voice, his stare was distant. It was like Izuku wasn't even truly there. He had been answering Katsuki's questions when asked - sort of - and his body was there, but he didn't seem to care enough to be emotionally present, and it was very disturbing for Katsuki to see. Seeing Izuku acting so aloof in such a grim situation was _beyond_ unnatural. Then Katsuki tensed as, finally, Izuku cleared his throat and continued with his thought, finishing answering the question that had been left open in the air for Katsuki to try to interpret on his own. "Between that and everything else that I was going through... And with what you said... Well, I tried to do what you suggested. I was so tired, you know? _I didn't want to live anymore_."

_Silence_. Katsuki's own heart seemed to stop, and he finally looked up, directly into those dead, distant eyes. He was looking for any sign that this was all some big lie, a big, bad, elaborate as fuck joke.

He found nothing. Just a tired smile that screamed volumes to Katsuki about Izuku's state of mind, no matter how emotionally distant Izuku currently was.

"It didn't work. As it turns out, I do have a Quirk. It won't let me die. No matter how much I cut, how many pills I take, how many times I break my neck with a noose, how high of a building I jump off of... No matter how badly I break myself, I just _can't seem to die!_" He laughed again, but then he quieted down when a sort of fog-man Villain said something to him. He sighed at whatever it was that he had been told, looking at Katsuki again as the Villains opened a portal to who-knows-where. This time, he hadn't forgotten who he was talking to after looking away and he didn't seem afraid or surprised when he looked back at the Hero-in-Training.

"That's when my new friends found me. After that incident... After I knew that I wouldn't be of any use to the world as a Hero or anything else - I mean, you know how bad I've always been at everything but studying..." he laughed a little despite himself. Katsuki didn't see the humor in the situation. "I went back to our school and jumped off the roof. Unfortunately, I lived like I did every other time I tried to die before then! Although, this time, it hurt a lot more. Some of my organs even exploded from the impact. It was very... Unpleasant." He seemed to shudder at the memory of the sensation, then he smiled again, leering at Katsuki. "Then, as I started to resurrect, I was found by our Master. He helped put me back together, helped my bones heal up right and told me that I wasn't useless, at least, not to him and his organization!" His smile wavered for a moment - somehow, Katsuki got the feeling that, even though stupid Deku was making the memory out to be a good one, it wasn't all that Deku was making it out to be. Deku had taken a nose dive off of a building, after all, so how could it be?! "I'm smart, and they helped me put that intelligence to use, and... and I'm actually really scary in fights now that I've had training." He turned away. "I would have made a great Hero." He stepped towards the portal, following after the Villains. He looked back just one last time, that murderous smile that screamed for help glued beneath his lightless eyes as he looked between Katsuki and the city. "But seeing the damage I managed to do here, with a little help from my new friends... I guess I make a better Villain, huh? I'm really not so useless after all, just like how my new friends say." He seemed to say that last part to himself, rather than to Katsuki.

Then he was gone, and the portal disappeared. Katsuki felt a shudder run through his body and he fell to his knees. He looked around him at his fallen classmates and teachers, then back to where the portal had been. He felt wetness pool over from his eyes and run down his cheeks, even though he stared unblinkingly at the spot where Deku last was, all the information he just gained hitting him at once.

Stupid Deku tried to kill himself.

Stupid Deku was kidnapped after what was probably a particularly nasty suicide attempt.

Stupid Deku was turned into a Villain.

Stupid Deku and his new Villain friends wrought devastation on the Heroes and Heroes-in-Training that Katsuki was finally starting to get along with.

And... it was all his fault. He gritted his teeth and punched the ground as hard as he could, causing a small explosion with his Quirk. "Dammit, Dammit, Dammit! That fuckin' idiot! Shitty fuckin' nerd, I'll fuckin' kill you if you don't get your ass back here!" Izuku was already gone, he knew that, but... he couldn't help but be angry. Even so... All he had to blame for this situation was himself. He pushed Izuku to commit suicide. He bullied Izuku to the point of breaking, all over... over _what?_ Thinking Izuku was looking down on him, just for being a good friend and offering a helping hand to him when he fell in that water? Just for Izuku being worried that his friend might have been hurt back when they were kids?

Katsuki screamed at the sky as Pro-Heroes finally started to arrive at the scene - a city center and what was once a school for Heroes, leveled to rubble. It wasn't their fault that they were late. The Villains had attacked at many points at once, and it wasn't like they had known that the school was one of the Villains' targets until it was too late. Even if they had known, it wasn't like they could have done anything about it. Everyone had had their hands full. Everyone had suffered casualties to their teams.

For an attack to be so strategically coordinated, with Villains with Quirks that were strong against Heroes in each district sent specifically to those districts to give them the advantage in the attacks, well... only one person could have helped come up with such an impregnable plan. There was only one person that Katsuki had ever known who kept notebook upon notebook of notes on people and their Quirks - especially _Heroes_ and their Quirks - and thus would know where to send each Villain.

Katsuki wailed as regret and sorrow finally overtook him.

He did this. He caused _all_ of this. He had created who he was sure was to become the most feared Villain in all of history.

Izuku's eyes had cried for help like Izuku said Katsuki's had when he came to his aid during the incident with the Sludge Villain, and the only hand offered to him in his time of need was the hand of a Villain. Where were the _Heroes?_ _Where_ was _Katsuki?_ He scoffed at his own train of thought.

_Katsuki was telling him to kill himself_.

It took him a while, but Katsuki shook his head clear of those kinds of thoughts and finally managed to calm down, determination now glittering in his eyes, fueling his ability to stand back up.

He could blame himself all he wanted later. For now, though, he had to help. He had to help his fallen teammates, help clean up the ruined city, help people find their loved ones - even if those loved ones were now no more than bodies hidden by rubble. After all, knowing was better than not most of the time as to the condition of a missing loved one.

As soon as he was done, his new mission would start. He was taking the vow, right here, right now.

No matter what, he would find Izuku... and he _would_ save him.

"I promise, Deku... I'll become the Hero ya need. The one ya always saw when ya looked at me, even when I was nothing but a Villain to ya. I'll work as hard as I can to become what ya said I was, and I _will_ save ya. No matter how terrible of a Villain ya become, I'll stop ya and I'll bring ya back. I'll fix what I broke." He looked to the sky, biting his lip a little to help sharpen his senses and keep his mind clear and focused. Izuku had helped him even though Izuku was thought to be Quirkless when his eyes had cried for help when the Sludge Villain had his clutches on Katsuki. Now, it was Katsuki's turn to save Izuku, whether he wanted or asked for help or not. Because his eyes were crying for aid like Katsuki's had way back then. And because saving someone, even without that someone asking... well, that's what Heroes do.

Rage and hate would no longer fuel him. Now, his pride was partnered with _remorse and determination._


	2. (Dis)Connect

Bakugou Katsuki was a fighter. Everyone who knew him knew that about him. He excelled in close-range combat and his hits were hard and he did his best to make them all count, so long as he was thinking rationally. What he wasn't so good at, though, was… well, _this._

"Bakugou-Kun! Help get people whom I can't completely heal on stretchers!" Recovery Girl called to him, barking out orders to others as well as she and some other medical personnel made their rounds to each injured individual that they could find.

"Right!" he called back in response, feeling just as nervous as he was angry. He was nervous because he wasn't used to tasks that were even _slightly_ medical in nature. He was angry because, while he _was_ worried (very, VERY worried) about Izuku, he was also angry at the shitty nerd for becoming a Villain and destroying the city in the first place. He didn't _blame_ Izuku for this not-so-great choice, even if he _was_ angry at the bastard – Heroes-in-Training like himself and Pro-Heroes like All Might had failed him and let him down, after all. Honestly, he was much angrier at himself for getting stupid Deku started on this path of crime that he had decided he would save the green-haired idiot from. He started grumbling furiously to himself as he rushed around and did all that he could to help, frightening some of the patients with his whispers and scowls. Seeing some of their fearful looks, he paused and reflected on himself, because they reminded him of the terror that was always on Deku's face when he was bullying him. He clicked his tongue unhappily and did his best to look less intimidating as the image of large tearful green eyes flooded his mind. It was annoying because he was _bad_ at _not being intimidating._

Now, Katsuki _hated_ admitting to being bad at things. Being gentle, like what he needed to be right now for the sake of all of these scared and injured people? _Yeah. He was __**really**__ bad at that_.

Still, he was trying his best to be gentle. He helped get Todoroki Shouta, a classmate of his, and a few others on stretchers to be taken to a hospital after Recovery Girl had done what she could for them and moved on to the next bunch of patients in need. That's when Katsuki noticed All Might on the scene helping with Aizawa-Sensei, and, well… _Well_.

See, Bakugou Katsuki was bad at four things, if he _had _to admit it. As mentioned before, he was bad at being gentle and unintimidating. He was really trying, considering how hurt and scared some of his classmates and teachers were – and it was _really. Fucking. Hard._ Especially since the other two things that he was bad at were getting in the way of his rational thinking at the moment now that he had laid eyes on All Might.

Katsuki had never been the most personable of people. That was strike three of the things he was bad at. Strike four was that he was _awful_ at controlling his temper. In fact, being awful at controlling his temper was an _understatement_. He knew that he had been the instigator in all of this tragedy and destruction that was surrounding him, as he had apparently driven Izuku to kill himself, so he was extremely angry at _himself_, but…

_"Well, Bakugou-San, you see... Before I helped you with that Sludge Villain, I ran into All Might. He told me what you and everyone else were always saying... that somebody like me, somebody without a Quirk, could never become a Hero. Between that and everything else that I was going through... And with what you said... Well, I tried to do what you suggested. I was so tired, you know? __I didn't want to live anymore__."_

All Might had been the final push. At least, he had been the final push if Katsuki had understood Izuku's words correctly. All Might drove him to want to die even more than Katsuki already had, and it had somehow led Izuku to join the League of Villains. With that being said_, yes,_ Katsuki was angry at himself. But _fucking hell,_ he was so much _angrier_ at All Might right now.

Izuku had always believed in Katsuki and had always looked up to him, he _knew _that – even if his rage normally blinded him and twisted it to 'Izuku is looking down on me' and lead him to bully Izuku for basically their whole lives. He knew now how unforgivable that was, and he was really regretting being a stupid kid with enough fucking pride in himself to want to beat down a person who was weaker than him and who was so sad and scared of him that he had flinched at Katsuki's mere presence and just by the sound of Katsuki's voice on several occasions. Right now, though, he thought it was even more unforgivable for Izuku's role model – _**his**_ role model – the Symbol of Peace himself, to have put Izuku down in the same way that he had been putting Izuku down their whole lives. And, well… Hoo-boy. He felt that All Might had this coming.

* * *

Yagi Toshinari had been expecting a lot of things from today – injured students and Heroes and citizens, bodies, Villains… what he had _not_ been expecting was a very sudden explosive punch to the face.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YA FUCKIN' – YA – YA FUCKIN' STUPID ASS HERO, SYMBOL OF PEACE MY ASS!" Such language and rage from one of the new students of UA was… unexpected, to say the least.

He looked at the smaller male with spikey blonde hair and allowed his eternal smile to waver with concern. Some others, Recovery Girl included, were on their way to scold the boy, but All Might held up his hand and stopped them, telling them to leave the boy to him. He laughed, grabbed Katsuki by the back of his collar and dashed away while dragging Katsuki behind him with the teenager kicking and screaming and exploding the whole time. He ran from the area they had been in to a place that had been mostly evacuated in their devastated city. By the time he finally stopped and deemed that he was far enough from listening ears, he released the explosive child, who was panting and seemed to have tired himself out a bit.

"Young Bakugou, my boy, what seems to be wrong?"

"THIS!" Bakugou gestured behind him, to the ruined school that they had just left behind them and to the ruined city that surrounded them. All Might frowned. The young Hero-in-Training was blaming him for not being able to save the whole city in such a large-scale attack? He'd done what he could. It wasn't fair for Bakugou to blame him for all of this.

"Now, Young Bakugou, I did everything in my power to-"

"SHUT UP!" All Might paused and was at a bit of a loss as to what to do when Katsuki's eyes grew wet with tears as he continued to hatefully glare and yell at him. "YA DIDN'T DO WHAT'CHA COULD! YOU – HE – HE HAD _ENOUGH _FROM ME! DID YA HAVE TO GO AND PUT HIM DOWN, _TOO,_ YA FUCKIN' BASTARD?! BECAUSE OF WHAT'CHA SAID, BECAUSE OF WHAT_ I_ SAID, HE-! HE-!" Katsuki finally quieted down, tears flowing freely as he stared at the ground between himself and All Might.

"…I… I'm sorry?" All Might was confused and apprehensive as to how to deal with the situation before him; he didn't know what was going on, what Katsuki was talking about. "Who...?" What did Katsuki mean? Who was 'he?'

"DEKU! FUCKIN' MIDORIYA IZUKU, YA FUCKIN' SHITHEAD!" Katsuki sobbed with rage. He tried to stifle it, clearly feeling ashamed of himself – whether he was ashamed for crying or for something more, All Might was unsure. That wasn't concerning to him at the moment, though. What was concerning to him was the name that Katsuki had sputtered.

Midoriya… Izuku…? His frown hardened and he glowered at Katsuki for a long moment, his demeaner becoming much more serious. He remembered Young Midoriya, of course. He was the fanboy whom had brought him back hope. Given him courage to continue being the Hero he was supposed to be. The Hero he said he was.

Midoriya Izuku was the boy whom had gone missing a little over a year ago after trying to save Bakugou from the Sludge Villain, even though he was Quirkless, re-inspiring All Might to be what he had always promised to be. He was the boy whom All Might had searched for after the incident was all cleared up in order to tell him that he _could_ be a Hero. He was the boy whom All Might had been trying to help find ever since he found out that he'd disappeared.

He was the boy whom All Might had set his heart on as his successor for One For All.

"What about Young Midoriya?" He watched as Katsuki flinched at the name being repeated back to him, and the boy's glare hardened further. It took him a moment that felt much longer than it was to reply, finally not yelling anymore.

"_You told him he couldn't be a hero."_

All Might tensed, guilt riding on his conscience. Yes, he _did_ say that. That was the last thing he'd said to the boy before he had vanished, and it had stuck heavily to All Might's heart. But… how did Young Bakugou know that, and what did that have to do with…? Wait… No. No, it… It couldn't be.

"Because of what'cha said… and because of what _I _said and _did _to him for all of these years…" Katsuki's glare was enough to even intimidate All Might a little, and All Might felt what was about to be said. He just didn't want to believe it.

"He's a Villain now. And he helped do all of… _this_." The boy gestured to the destruction again, and All Might's heart sank. What? Young Midoriya was a part of this…? Because he…? No… His mistakes had done this? "But…" Suddenly, Katsuki looked unsure of himself – something that All Might had come to know was very unusual for the teen over the last few weeks since the curriculum at UA had begun. "I don't think he was there because he wanted to be. I don't think he's happy being a Villain. He was barely responsive to anything, and his eyes were fuckin' crying for help, I _swear_ it. So… _So help me make it right! Help me save him, or at least, help me keep him out of trouble when I find him!"_

This caught All Might's attention. If Bakugou's words rung true and Izuku didn't _truly_ want to be with the Villains, then he _must_ have been kidnapped. If he _really_ didn't want to be helping them then they must have done something to him to make him, or maybe they were holding something over his head. Besides that, how could Izuku have helped cause so much damage? The Izuku that All Might had met on that fateful day over a year ago ran head-on into danger to help people in need and certainly wouldn't want to cause death and destruction like he apparently had today. All Might's mind raced with thoughts as he pondered what could have been going on with Izuku that would make him capable of this, and what the Villains could have done to him to get him to help. Perhaps they had brainwashed him, or perhaps they were threatening him or his family, or-! His mind skidded to a halt when Katsuki started talking again.

"He wasn't… he wasn't right. He wasn't himself, he… Stupid Deku was…" The boy's fists were clenched and trembling and he was looking at the ground again. His eyes were still reflecting wrath but now were tinted with a hint of what All Might guessed was concern for Izuku. "He… He looked scared and sad, like when I-! Well… The way he was talking, it was like he wasn't really all there. And his _smile.._." Katsuki growled, his gaze flaring as he looked back up into All Might's eyes. All Might felt his shoulders tense. If there was a look that could kill, it would be Katsuki's glare. "And if it weren't for me and you, he never would have ended up killing himself and falling into their hands."

Wait_… What? What did he just say?_ All Might felt himself begin to tremble. "Young Bakugou, what are you…? What are you saying, he…? But you said he was alive, as a Villain?" It made no sense.

"Well…" Katsuki walked over to the wall of a nearby building that's foundation was damaged by the attacks. He punched it in his frustration as he tried to figure out how to explain to the older Hero, blowing up a small section and staring at the damage that he had done, a way to explain now lying before him. He grumbled and calmed back down, sighing. His eyes softened as a more subdued look overtook him – it was very slight, but it was there. It almost looked as if he'd been defeated for the first time. After a minute or so passed, he sighed and started to explain. "The Fucking Nerd was like this wall. He was… I'd already broken him down a lot. He was cracked and damaged. I drove him to hurt himself, even though he was my childhood friend. Then, when _you_ – the person he looked up to the _most_ – told him the things that I had always been telling him, it broke him, like my fist did to this fuckin' wall. The fuckin' idiot tried to kill himself and found out he has a Quirk that won't let him die, and the Villains took him then. That's what he told me. So, ya see? We're the same sort of fuckin' idiots. We both talk down at people. _**We**_ caused this. That's why I'm so MOTHER. FUCKIN'. _ANGRY_." He was back to yelling. "YOU CLAIM TO BE A SYMBOL OF PEACE, BUT YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN ME! YOU PUT DOWN A KID WHO WAS ALREADY SO DOWN ON HIMSELF THAT HE FUCKIN' KILLED HIMSELF! IT DOESN'T FUCKIN' MATTER IF HE FUCKIN' COMES BACK TO LIFE OR SOME SHIT, THE FACT IS THAT THE IDIOT WENT AND DID IT AND _**WE**_ CAUSED IT! _**WE**_ CAUSED HIM TO BECOME A VILLAIN! _**WE**_ CAUSED HIM TO GO AND DO THIS TO OUR CITY!"

All Might shook, the words of the boy breaking through his tough exterior. If it was all true, then what the boy was saying was right. If what he was saying was true, then was he really any better than a Villain?

…Well, regardless of the answer to that, he'd have to make up for it. Somehow.

"Now… PUNCH ME! WITH ALL YA GOT, YA FUCKIN' IMBECILE OF A PRO-HERO!"

All Might made an incredulous expression at that demand. He felt sweat drip down his face. Smoke was starting to flow from his body. He was running out of time to be in his current form. Goddamn motherfucking _shit_. This always happened at the worst (and often most confusing) times.

"W-W-What, wait, Young Bakugou, I can't-"

"Yer a Hero, aren't'cha? Then FUCKIN' PUNCH ME. AND YOU BETTER NOT HOLD ANYTHING BACK." All Might's punch might kill the boy! Though, he had been weakening as of late, and his body was dissipating at the moment, so maybe not, but… Why did Katsuki want this? What game was he playing? And, more importantly, All Might was running out of time, he had to get going!

Katsuki sensed All Might's reservations, smiling a manic sort of smile as he reached up and grabbed All Might's shoulder when the Hero tried to say something and make a hasty exit. "Yer not fuckin' goin' anywhere, you piece of trash, so don't even try it." His smile vanished and his glare was suddenly back to being unnervingly calm. "Look. I punched you with all I had, you Pro-Hero scum. I did that for motherfuckin' Izuku. To get back at'cha for what'cha said to him, for _your_ roll in instigating this whole mess. Now, the least ya can do for him is punch me back for what _I_ did to him. Then, when we're done helpin' all the people affected by this mess, you'll fuckin' help me find him. Kapische?!"

All Might groaned, trying to play off that he was in pain and struggling to keep up his form. He knew that he would probably face assassination if he tried to leave again, even in his current state, so without saying anything more, he simply nodded to Katsuki since he now understood. He raised his right fist, took aim –

"Detroiiiiiiiiiitttt!"

Fire!

"…Smash?" With a sizzle and a poof, he was a cloud of smoke – just as his fist made contact with the teenager's face. It barely did any damage as he shrank down to an emancipated man before Bakugou Katsuki, blood spurting from his mouth as he did his best to maintain his composure now that his secret was being revealed. Bakugou stared, wide-eyed, unsure of what to do or say.

"The Fu-"

"I know what you're thinking, young man," Yagi Toshinari grumbled through a fit of coughs, "and I know that I have a lot of explaining to do." He cleared his throat a few times before finally clearing his trachea of the red iron-tasting substance, his dark, sagging eyes narrowing at the explosive child before him, who was shaking in shock and indignation, if Toshinari was reading him correctly.

"Where is All Might?" He asked, glancing around. "OI! FUCKIN' COWARD, WHERE'D YA GO?! GET BACK HERE AND FUCKIN' PUNCH ME ALREADY!"

"Sssshhhh!" Toshinari hissed loudly, getting the short-tempered teen's attention and making him look at him. "I'm right here! I didn't run! This is just my true form." Katsuki stared at him, quivering, his burning temper at least _somewhat_ dying down for the moment as bafflement and disbelief doused his flame of undying anger a little.

"Wha-?"

"I'm an old man, what did you expect?"

"Then-"

"I can only use my power and be in my other form for a maximum of about three hours per day. I'm like those swimmers in those pictures where they choose a flattering angle and pose and suck it all in."

"Eh?"

"I know you probably think I'm lying to get off of hitting you like you want me to, but I assure you that I'm not lying, Young Bakugou. I suffered a terrible injury five years ago, and the after-effects of that injury and the surgeries that I had to have due it have been causing me to grow weaker with time."

"Is that so…?" Izuku probably would have known about something like that happening to All Might – to some extent – if he had been in Katsuki's shoes right now. Katsuki, however, was not like Izuku, and while he had promised to take on a new set of ideals for Izuku's sake because of his own mistakes, he was still Katsuki. And if Katsuki was anything, it was short-tempered and short-sighted.

"DO YA THINK I'M A FUCKIN' IDIOT?! WHO'D FUCKIN' BELIEVE BULLSHIT LIKE THAT, YA FUCKIN' LIAR!"

Toshinari moaned unhappily, running a skeletal hand down his bony face, his mouth curved downward into a deep frown. "I'm not lying, young man. But whether you believe me or not is your own choice." He crossed his arms and looked away from Katsuki, towards the sun, which had just started to set. "I promise that I'll hit you later if you still really want me to. I also promise to help you in your search for Young Midoriya." His eyelids lowered over his eyes, shadows cast upon his gaze.

"To be honest, I've been looking for him ever since he went missing. I have a lot I want to say to him." It was true – he really did have a lot that he wanted to say to Izuku. Just like how he now had a lot to ask Katsuki about what part he implied he had in Izuku's current situation. That would be a later issue he dealt with, though. He was too drained to want to ask the boy about it now.

"YEAH?! LIKE WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SAY TO HIM!" Toshinari took a deep breath. Why was this kid so damn loud and angry? He liked his spunk, and the kid had talent, obviously, but… he really needed to work on that temper.

"It's like you said, Young Bakugou." He finally released his breath, puffing out his chest as much as he could in his skeletal form. "I need to apologize to him. Ever since I told him that he couldn't be a Hero, ever since I saw him trying to save you even though he was powerless… I knew that I was wrong. I tried to find him that night, but, as you probably know, that's when he disappeared. When I heard that he had gone missing, I immediately started using any free time I had to search for him."

Bakugou finally went quiet, and while he didn't drop his glare on Toshinari for a second, he seemed to at least understand. "…Fine. I S'pose that that's an acceptable answer, old man." He raised the upper right corner of his lip, practically snarling. "But ya'd better keep yer word. I've got my eye on ya, and if ya don't do what ya just said you'll do, you'll be sorry."

Toshinari raised his hands up in defeat. He was exhausted. He was feeling bad. He was in pain. He just wanted this day of awful happenings to end. "Fine, fine. If it comes to it, sure. If I lie, throw another punch at me. But for now, young man, you'd best get home. Heroes strong at night will keep helping people around here, but until then, you should rest. Tomorrow class will consist of emergency aid relief."

"Tch! I already knew that," Katsuki replied smugly. Then, his whole demeaner changed, determination overtaking his angered expression.

"I promised to myself that, to make up for the things I did that caused this, I'd become the hero Izuku always saw when he looked at me." Toshinari's eyes widened upon hearing such a powerful statement from the hot-headed boy, watching as Katsuki turned away, looking up at the darkening sky. The way his body and voice trembled, Toshinari could tell that he was doing his best to suppress tears. That, along with the words that Katsuki had spoken, hit Toshinari right in the gut. Right in his weak spot.

"Yeah… Do your best to be just that, alright, kid? And I…" He slumped over a little, looking at the ground beside him, trying his best to not think too much about his mistakes as they came crashing down around him while his last words to Izuku came back to his mind.

"_You can never be a hero."_

"I'll do my best to be the hero you say he always saw me as, too." He took a few steps and stopped, standing beside Katsuki as he too looked up at the sky, feeling his own resolve start to flow through his veins. "And I will help you find Young Midoriya. I will help you save him." He was sure he was going to have many fights and arguments to come with the young lad, but for now, at least, he felt that he had finally managed to establish a vaguely good connection with him as a teacher and as a role model.


	3. Reality

_**CHAPTER CONTENT WARNING: This chapter contains descriptions of death, minor gore, and bullying. Reader discretion is advised.**_

Many solemn days followed after the attack on the city. The attack on USJ. The damage was incomprehensible, given the short few hours it had taken to cause it. Buildings were toppled over and broken into being mere piles of rubble and stone. Lifeless craters were in areas that used to be busy shopping centers. School buildings were left in ruin, hospitals were turned to ash…

Dust and smoke lingered in the air in the most devastated areas, masks being worn by anyone who wandered into those places to protect their lungs as they searched for survivors and the bodies of the fallen. Heroes like Kamui Woods – a man with limbs that could sprout into vine-like tree branches - and Mt. Lady – a woman who could make herself into a giant - were using their Quirks to dig people out of the wreckage and bring them to medical staff for healing and to the safety of the refugee camps that they had set up with the help of Heroes like Cementoss, who used his abilities to build small cement structures to provide shelter for the survivors. The least they could do, after all, was keep the now-homeless population out of the rain.

The list of those missing was slowly growing shorter, whereas the list of the deceased was steadily gaining more and more names as bodies were excavated from the debris.

All Might felt the weight of the city on his shoulders. The despair, the sorrow, the helplessness… It was too much to bear. He had to bear it, though. He had to keep a smile on his face and give hope where he could to the hopeless civilians, no matter how hard it was to smile. No matter how frustrated he was with himself.

He was there. He had been in the city, in UA, when it all occurred, leisurely sipping tea with Nedzu as the principal lectured him, unknowing of the chaos occurring outside until the main campus of UA itself had been breached.

He should have been able to stop this, to save more people! He should have… should have…

But… But he didn't. He should have been able to stop this but he didn't. Couldn't. He was an aged Hero with a waning power. He wouldn't have even survived himself when he went to USJ if not for the **help** of some students and the **sacrifices** of others. It had taken **everything** he'd had to defeat the Villain called "Nomu." Hell, if Principal Nedzu hadn't gathered other Pros to go to USJ with him after they got UA's main campus under control, and if not for a specific pair of students – Bakugou and Todoroki, the latter of whom was now unconscious – he wouldn't have even been able to accomplish that.

_He was __**weak**__. He was __**pathetic**__._

_Civilians were __**dead**__, and he could do __**nothing**__ to help them. Heroes, teachers, and students had all __**died**__ under __**his**__ watch._

Young Bakugou was right. **He** had caused this.

For fuck's sake, he had told a suicidal boy with no known Quirk that he couldn't be a Hero. What the Hell was wrong with him? Was he himself not once a Quirkless boy aiming to be the Symbol of Peace? A child with no power whatsoever who dreamed of being a pillar of justice for all? He was **nothing** until the day came when he was blessed with the One For All Quirk by his master… And he went and told a tired, drained and desperate child to give up on his dreams, which were the only things keeping him standing and moving forward in life. He saw the broken smile cross that innocent freckled face. He watched the child laugh, cry, then **thank** him for being honest with him before stumbling away with a lowered head and sunken shoulders. Because of **that** interaction, because of his **cluelessness**, because of what he had **said**… that boy was now a **Villain**.

_A Villain who had helped cause all of this. A Villain who had helped plan the worst terrorist attack to befall their nation since the last attack from All For One himself._

_**Weak. Pathetic. Irredeemable**__. _There was nothing good about All Might, not when he himself knew that he was the one who caused this. Knowing that Midoriya Izuku – the boy he wanted to succeed him as the next One For All user – was suffering now because of him was torturous. He was sure, after all, that Young Midoriya had been kidnapped, and who knows what the so-called "League of Villains" had done to him or what they had on him that had him helping them even when he had so badly wished to be a Hero only a year before. The possibilities of what they could have done to harm him made All Might's blood boil.

_So, with that being the case, how could All Might call himself a Hero? He had failed Izuku, and subsequently had failed the entire city. The entire nation. The entire __**world**__._

He shook his head, ridding himself of such thoughts. He didn't have the time to be distracted right now. He had work to do. People to save.

_The reality of death stood before him as he looked through buildings that reeked of burnt flesh and decay, reminding him again that people were dead because of him and his screwups._

His resolved wavered again, but he pressed on. He had people to tell "everything will be alright, for I am here!" to to ease their worries and fears.

_No one had ever died under his watch. No one had ever died once he had arrived at a crime scene. He always saved people. He always saved everyone – at least, everyone who had been within his reach._

_No one ever died when he was around._

_**No one.**_

_At least… No one had died until now. If only he hadn't been such an idiot._

He heard whimpering and crying come from somewhere to his right, and, instantly, he ran to where the cries sounded from. He forced his signature grin as he broke open a crooked door and found a child trapped inside a caved-in room within the demolished building that he had been searching through – the child could have been no older than fifteen.

_Around the same age as Midoriya Izuku, _his thoughts reminded him.

Large, tear-filled, frightened eyes looked up at him, and he forced himself to smile wider. "Fear not, dear civilian, for I am here!" The tearful boy before him smiled back, relief flashing over his features.

"All Might! I-I'm saved!" The Hero tensed hearing those words, his mind's eye seeing fluffy green hair before him, a smiling, shy, excited boy having just woken up from being saved from a slippery sludge Villain. Oh, memories…

_Yes. This boy was indeed saved. Now if only All Might had been able to save Young Midoriya._

* * *

Bakugou Katsuki was helping out as much as he could at the refugee camp where some of his classmates were finally waking up – at least, the classmates whose homes were among the ruined and who were in a condition good enough to not need to be taken by helicopter to the hospitals in the cities nearest to them.

_The classmates of his who weren't in body bags, at least._

He wasn't much help, as one who knew him might suspect. He had a face that resembled that of a Villain's when he was angry – which was all the time – and whenever his emotions got the best of him, he exploded – which, well, was also all the time.

He really was trying, but, if he was going to start changing for the better, he really did have to admit to his faults. It didn't matter how much he hated admitting to the bad things about himself, it was important that he started doing it. Becoming a better person had to start somewhere, right?

With that being said, if there was anything that was common knowledge about Bakugou Katsuki, it was that he was as impatient as an aggravated wasp looking for something to sting. Thus, he decided that starting somewhere started now.

"I'm bad at helping people." There. He said it. It hurt like Hell to admit but he said it… even if he'd only whispered it to himself.

It was unfortunate but true. He really wasn't gentle. He really didn't know how to not be scary-looking to other people. He didn't know how to comfort people.

_All he knew was being the king of the hill. All he knew was being above everyone else and pushing others down beneath his feet._

_All he knew was pushing Izuku away and telling him he was nothing._

_All he was good at was calling Izuku stupid and beating him down._

_His only true talent was leaving burns on Izuku's skin and making him suicidal._

He only knew how to be angry. To throw fuel onto his own fires, his nitroglycerin sweat an endless stream of gasoline being poured over a flamethrower. So how could he, as he was, help anyone? How could he put his fires out and be a better Hero?

He grumbled to himself as he wandered through the camp after another patient under Recovery Girl's watch awoke and screamed "Villain" in his face. It was frustrating. He wanted to explode, but he couldn't. He had to change that about himself, too, after all, so that he didn't accidentally hurt anyone or cause panic, especially in a camp of injured and anxious survivors of a terrorist attack.

He had to change so much about himself to become a Hero. To become someone who wouldn't scare others instantly with his scowling expressions. To become someone who people could count on to save them.

_To become someone that stupid Deku would be proud of._

He stopped, looking over when he recognized a man – a Hero whose costume was set ablaze. He sighed as he watched the Flame Hero Endeavor twitch beside his unconscious son, a classmate of Katuski's named Todoroki Shouto. The muscular hero beside Shouto had his legs crossed, his foot that was in the air unconsciously ticking the seconds away in small little kicks. His arms were crossed over his chest, his fingers tapping at his biceps impatiently as his sharp eyes stared down at the boy with bi-colored white and red hair. It was clear that he was worried in… _some…_ form of the term, though he, like how Katsuki was when it came to his own feelings, wouldn't admit to it, preferring to ask why his son was so weak under his breath. There were a lot of emotions in that expression of his. It was hard for Katsuki to decipher much of it. There were things like disappointment, rage, hate, desire, muffled worry and, behind all of that, some kind of parental love – though it was very hidden and almost non-existent. There was clearly a lot of unease in the relationship between Endeavor and his child, but it was none of Katsuki's damn business.

_Stupid Deku would have made it his business._

Katsuki growled in frustration, pulling at and ruffling his hair to try to focus on something that wasn't Izuku, though it was constantly proving to be impossible. He sighed after calming himself down and looked back up when he noticed the flaming man suddenly stand and yell at his unconscious child for being weak, having given in to his impatience over Shouto not waking up. Then he paced around, broke a few things, then returned to the icy-hot boy after cooling off.

The number two Hero reminded Katsuki so much of himself that it was almost frightening. It was **uncanny**. He turned away from the scene, pondering again what he could do to change. He had to change to not be like Endeavor. To not be angry all the time, to not pretend he was perfect, to not be dishonest with himself and others anymore…

To not _**hurt**_ people anymore.

Seeing Endeavor by his classmate's side like that reminded him of how he'd been when he'd sent Izuku to the hospital with injuries that were bad enough to put the little nerd into a coma. It was only maybe two or three years ago. He didn't know why he'd been so violent that day. Why he thought it was okay to throw Izuku around like he had, kicking and hitting him as he burned him, the sound of sizzling flesh echoing in his memories, the smell of burning meat creeping into his nose and making him want to vomit.

Screaming and pleading entered his mind...

* * *

"_Kacchan, please stop!" a small, terrified voice begged. Emerald eyes were filled with terror as they stared into the explosive blonde's ruby-colored orbs. They had been alone, as Katsuki had told his goons to leave and go home, and they had obeyed._

"_Please, Kacchan! You're hurting me!" Adrenaline rushed through Katsuki and his smile widened._

_He liked this. He liked being strong. He liked that people feared him. That they listened to him…_

_He liked that he had control over what happened to Izuku in that moment._

_A cry, shrill and pain-laced, filled his ears as he grabbed the stupid Deku's arm, bending it until it snapped, singeing the skin under his palm with his Quirk as he flung the boy against a tree near the riverbank. Izuku whimpered, trembling but not trying to escape as Katsuki grasped him again, this time with both of his hands and by the neck. He wrapped his fingers around that thin neck, squeezing and enjoying the choked gasps and breathless pleas erupting from the green-haired boy's throat. The arm that Katsuki had not broken feebly fought to try to make Katsuki let him go._

_Katsuki didn't like that Izuku was trying to fight back. Not at all. So after burning that pretty little neck of his in a small explosion, Katsuki lifted Izuku's neck and head and slammed down on the stony riverbank as hard as he could, feeling raw pleasure flow through his veins in response to the pained cry that Izuku made that sounded so much more desperate than before. So he did it again, and again, and again._

_And again._

_And again._

_And again and again and again and again –_

_And then he heard something crack that made him go pale, and he noticed that Izuku had stopped moving._

"…_D-Deku?"_

_There was no response. Katsuki started to shake, and he got up, finally releasing that skinny little neck and looking at what he had done._

_Burns had started to blister on black-and-blue skin. An arm was bent so unnaturally that it almost looked fake and, now that he looked at it, it made him feel sick to his stomach. Blood pooled from under Izuku's head, onto the rocks and into the water of the stream's shallows._

_He looked at his hands._

_Blood._

_He could not get to help fast enough as he carried the limp but still-breathing body of Izuku back to town from the riverbank. He was lucky that Aunty Inko hadn't pressed charges, instead opting to get a restraining order (even though the stupid Deku somehow managed to get that restraining order undone, for some reason, even though he was even more afraid of Katsuki than ever after that incident) after talking things over with Katsuki's mother, Mitsuki, who was a good friend of hers. He was so lucky that he hadn't ruined his mother's relationship with the woman completely. He was so lucky to not be in jail._

_He was __**so lucky**__ that stupid Deku didn't die._

_He was so lucky._

_One night, he asked Mitsuki to ask Inko if he could visit Izuku in the hospital, to see how he was doing. It was the only time he had been extra polite in front of Mitsuki, so she agreed to ask Inko, and she somehow managed to get permission for Katsuki to go and see Izuku in the hospital just that once. After all, he said that he wanted to apologize. So, even though it went against the restraining order that Inko was working to set in place, the kind woman had allowed it. Even if Izuku was not yet awake and thus couldn't hear the apology, __**she**__ wanted to hear it. __**She**__ wanted to hear Katsuki apologize to her son. For him to __**finally**__ say that he was sorry for all the pain and torment that he had dealt __**her**__ baby._

_When he arrived with his mother to Izuku's hospital room, he looked between the plump, glaring woman with straight green hair that was a few shades darker than Izuku's and Izuku himself. He winced at her glare a little, sure, but what really made him flinch was seeing just how many bandages were wrapped around Izuku. Seeing just how much damage he'd done was horrific._

_**He really was lucky that Izuku survived.**_

"_H-He…" he started, and Inko looked at him, her eyes narrowing as she started to judge internally what his worth was when standing there before her baby. She was a mother in protective mama-bear mode and it was truly intimidating. It made him stutter. "Does he… his… his brain, I mean, does it… Is he…"_

"_No. Somehow, he didn't suffer brain damage, even with how you broke his skull," she rasped at him._

_He flinched once more, but, yet again… he was lucky._

"_May I… Umm…" He wasn't used to being timid, and he rubbed his arm, looking away, doing his best to keep his emotions in check so he didn't blow up. Mitsuki seemed worried about him, while Midoriya Inko seemed pleased that her prey was cowering before her. "It's a lot to ask, but can I sit by him?"_

_Inko almost yelled, but he held up his hands, and she finally noticed that the boy had flowers. Freshly-cut white lilies, daisies, peonies and hydrangea sat neatly in a small vase. This calmed her a little._

"_I, uh… Got these for him. I don't know if he likes any of these or anythin', but I tried lookin' up the ones that were best for this, and my mom helped. She says they all mean 'get well' in some way." He wasn't looking at Inko anymore – he'd become too embarrassed to. There was silence for a few minutes before Izuku's mother sighed and finally acknowledged his wish._

"_You may have a moment with him."_

_He nodded and slowly approached, putting the bouquet on a counter across from Izuku so that the green-haired boy could see them when he woke up, then drudgingly made his way to Izuku's bedside, sitting in a chair that was placed next to him. He looked down at the boy for a second but couldn't handle it, so he looked at his trembling and clenched fists in his lap instead, trying to will himself to calm down as he listened to the steady beeping of the machines attached to the Quirkless idiot, reassuring himself that Izuku was in fact alive. _

"_Stupid Deku," he said under his breath. "Why are you so weak…"_

_He wanted to say that he was sorry, but he couldn't. He just couldn't. He wasn't strong enough to. Mitsuki had been so angry with him. But Inko… Inko was confusing to him and to his mother. She said that he __**did**__ say it, loud and clear. _

_That's when he noticed that he was crying._

* * *

It was an unwelcome memory for the teen. He had tried so hard to forget it. No future-Hero would like recalling almost killing someone (even if that someone apparently had a Quirk that brought him back to life or some bullshit like that) for no reason other than hurt pride and maybe – _horrifyingly_ – one's own entertainment, himself included. He looked at his hands, shaking, expecting to see blood on them like he had on that day. He was still a little caught up in his memory. Luckily, his hands were clean, and he breathed a sigh of relief, managing to soothe his wavering emotions.

Katsuki kicked at a stone on the ground after shoving his hands in the pockets of his school's blue P.E. uniform, its logo strewn about the top in giant white letters reading "UA." Almost instantly after kicking the rock, he winced, being reminded of how he had called Izuku a pebble. He stared in horror at the stone, which was now several meters in front of him, more unpleasant thoughts crossing through his mind.

_He never asked to press charges; he only asked how Katsuki was after he woke up from that coma. He begged to get that restraining order absolved, as he didn't want to mark Katsuki's perfect record with such an incriminating document, nor did he want to be separated from his 'friend.'_

_Even so, Bakugou barely changed. He still burned Izuku sometimes. He still beat him up sometimes. He still put him down with his words._

_Izuku always came to help him whenever he knew Katsuki needed it. He always inexplicably showed up and did what he could, no matter how much Katsuki hadn't wanted him to._

_He was such a huge help to him. He was such a kind boy._

_But Bakugou still didn't change._

_Bakugou still told him to take a last-effort dive off of their school building to be reborn with a Quirk if he wanted to be a Hero so badly._

_What kind of friend did that? What kind of __**Hero**__ did that?_

_**Fuck**__. _

He looked back at the people in the camp, watching them cry over injured and dying loved ones if they weren't silently sitting and staring worriedly. His job, as a Hero-in-Training, was to provide assistance and comfort to these people. He wasn't to leave the camp to go into the devastated areas of the city for any reason, for his own safety, while Pros went around finding people who were still trapped and lost.

_But he was bad at this. He couldn't soothe their fears. He couldn't give them what they needed._

_**What would Izuku do? How could he be a Hero that would make Izuku proud?**_

With that thought plastering itself into his brain, he took off without looking back, ready to help search for survivors instead of being called a Villain again by some scared idiot waking up from their little injury-induced naps.

* * *

How many people had All Might managed to save? He wasn't sure, but as he brought survivors, one-by-one, to refugee camps, he felt himself beginning to wear down.

Thirty minutes more at most. That's how much longer he could do Hero work for the day. That's how much longer he could make his efforts count. That was how much longer he could make up for his mistakes, then he'd have to wait until the next day to do more.

_He was almost useless. It didn't matter that he'd saved hundreds today, thousands were still dying and dead because of him._

He huffed, losing his smile for a moment. That was no good. Thinking that way right now was no good, how many times did he have to tell himself that? He really had to stop those kinds of thoughts. He could brood later, after he reached his time limit. He could sulk after that.

People needed him right now. They needed the Symbol of Peace. They needed All Might.

And by God, if he wasn't All Might, then who on Earth was he?

His smile returned. It was sincere now.

He was still afraid. He was still going to beat himself up. But he had to keep going. He had to help the people in the city, otherwise, how could he go on? If he didn't do his job now, he wouldn't be able to later, and if he couldn't do his job later, then how would he ever be able to help save Young Midoriya?

He ran at full speed towards the sound of a man calling for help.

"I am here!" the Hero proclaimed proudly, finding a mostly-uninjured man standing outside of a collapsed residential building. "Citizen! Are you alright?"

"I-I'm fine, but, m-my wife and daughter, they're still trapped! Please, All Might, sir, please save them!"

All Might nodded. "Of course! But first, let me get you to see a medic! You look fine on the outside, but we must be sure."

"N-No, please, I'm okay–"

All Might waggled his finger, tsking at the middle-aged man standing before him.

"That's no good! You could be injured internally! You could have a concussion!" He softened his smile. "I'll come right back to save your wife and child, but please, let me help you, too. It's part of my job, sir, and if something is wrong, it's best to find out now rather than later. You wouldn't want your wife and child to have to worry more than they have to about you, now would you?"

All Might's words and mere presence seemed to lull the man into a calmer state, and he nodded, finally agreeing to let the number one Hero help him. All Might took him into his arms and raced to get him to the nearest safe area. He left the man with some medical staff who were doing checkups there before turning to go back and save the man's family.

Fifteen more minutes. He had to be fast.

He called into building, being careful of some downed wires and doing his best to not do anything that would further undo the structural integrity of the building. He heard crying, and like with the boy he'd found earlier, he followed the sound to its source, finding a toddler that he assumed was the man's daughter in one of the many apartments on the middle floor.

"Don't worry, little one! Don't cry! I am here!" He lifted the tiny girl and offered his best smile. She settled into his arms comfortably and cooed, saying 'mama' and pointing to a room that was blocked off and that was in a particularly badly destroyed spot. Pieces of brick still tumbled from the ceiling there, along with chunks of wood framing, some wires hanging and just barely holding up a flickering light. If not for the equipment that the family had had to prevent some of their larger furniture from falling during earthquakes, shelving would be in the way.

"Hello?" he called out. A weak, feminine voice replied back to him, and he had to focus to hear her.

"P-Please! Get my daughter to safety! S-She's out there somewhere, she's been talking to me through the door since the place fell down!"

"I will do just that, ma'am! Your child is alright, I have her now! I'll get her to safety and I'll come back for you!" He wanted to get her now, but getting to her would be dangerous, especially with a child in his arms. He could handle the building falling on him, but this toddler certainly could not.

"Thank you!"

Twelve more minutes.

All Might raced to the refugee camp faster than before, despite his exhaustion, dropping the child off to her father. Like her father, the child was mostly unharmed besides a few scratches and bruises here and there, much to his relief.

"W-Where's my wife?" The man asked.

"She's trapped. I'm going back to get her now. I couldn't before because it would have risked the little one."

"Thank you, All Might… Thank you."

_If only he could be happy about all of the thanks he was getting. If only he felt that he could deserve their admiration and praise. _

Nine more minutes.

He was back in the family's apartment, clearing away a path to the door. It hadn't taken too long, and breaking the handle to get in wasn't hard at all.

But when he got in there, he knew he had to be fast.

Unlike her husband and child, the woman was in bad shape. She was sitting against the most stable-looking wall of the small bedroom, near a crib that was toppled and broken. She was clenching to what could only be her daughter's baby blanket for comfort. Her breathing was labored, and blood was covering half of her face and was all over her side.

"I am here!" He tried to sound cheerful. To sound unworried, though he was by her side in the blink of an eye. "I am here. You'll be alright."

"I…" She opened her eyes and looked at him, smiling and touching his face as if to be sure that she wasn't hallucinating.

"I never thought All Might himself would ever come to save me." Worry furrowed in her brow, and she tried to stand but tumbled. He caught her, being careful of her head, which was where most of the blood was coming from.

"Careful!"

"M-My daughter, and my husband, are they–"

"They are safe."

She breathed a sigh of relief, nodding a little. He lifted her up, carefully getting her out of the building and down the crumpling stairs before heading towards where he'd left her family. Her bloodied hair felt wet and crusty against his forearm, and she felt colder than a person ever should.

"They're all right…" She sounded so tired. So frail.

He wanted to rush her to help like he had with the other two, but he had to go slowly, for her sake, because of her head.

"Yes." His answer was short, but it was enough.

She smiled, a gentle laughter escaping from her blue-tinged lips. "I-I'm so glad… My daughter… she's healthy…?" She was getting weaker.

"Y-Yes. She's safe and unhurt."

"I'm so… glad…" relief washed over her. "All Might… My daughter… she's the world to me. You… You saved my world. Thank you…" Suddenly, she went limp in his arms, and the hand holding her daughter's blanket let go and the small cloth fell to the ground. Her breathing stopped. He panicked, setting her on the ground, pulling the blanket she had dropped under her head for her comfort and for support.

Five minutes.

He cupped one hand and placed it against her chest, his other hand a flat palm that he laid on top of it as he pushed down, pumping her heart for her. Every so often, he'd pinch her nose shut, lift her neck to open her airways, and blow a breath into her.

"Y-You can't give up!" He felt tears running down his cheeks. "YOU CAN'T GIVE UP! YOU HAVE A FAMILY WAITING FOR YOU!" He tried to start her heart again. He tried to give her more air. Still, nothing.

"YOU ARE A MOTHER! YOU CAN'T LEAVE YOUR CHILD LIKE THIS!"

He tried until he felt himself deflate into weak, useless Yagi Toshinori. He slumped over her, sobbing over the woman's body. He looked at his trembling hands, staring at the blood on them.

Her blood was on them. Hers and everyone else's who had died in this attack.

He took some deep breaths, and even though he shouldn't, he forced himself to take on his muscular form once more. It was painful, like needles stabbing every fiber of his being over and over. It would probably have a lasting affect on how long he could use it in the future. But for now… for now, he had a job to finish. A body to return to a family.

A sad frown glued itself onto his face and he lifted the woman from the ground, holding her corpse close to him as he continued his mission to reunite the family.

When he finally saw the camp come into his line of sight, he stopped, his eyes boring holes into it. Pondering how he could console the father and child he had saved.

_No one ever died once he made it to the scene of a crime or disaster._

He clenched more tightly to the body.

_No one… no one until today._

_**He had failed.**_

* * *

Katsuki finally felt useful.

He finally felt like he was doing something right.

He finally felt like a _Hero_.

Villainous as it was, his smile was spread cheek-to-cheek across his face. He used his explosions to get himself high up onto buildings, giving him good vantage points to find people who needed help. It made him happy, even if he was still scaring everyone that he was coming into contact with. Even if some of them were still screaming and accusing him of being a Villain.

He didn't care.

He was finally doing something that he was capable of doing.

He wasn't just standing around, he was successfully doing something. He was helping people!

Maybe he wasn't completely doing things right, but at least he was pointing people who were wandering and lost in the wreckage in the direction of the camp he'd come from. Sure, he wasn't going into buildings to search for more like he wanted to, but at least he was doing something! Every time he went down to help show people where to go, he'd propel himself back up so that he could find someone else in need of direction.

He just wished he was allowed to wear his Hero costume. It would have been helpful, since it was fine-tuned to suit his Quirk, unlike his school's P.E. outfit.

After some time of going up and down buildings and showing people where to go for safety, he was finally getting tired out from overuse of his explosions. Even Bakugou Katsuki had a limit. It took a lot of doing to make him reach his limit, sure, but he had one.

He was smart, regardless of what his violent and impulsive nature might make one think. That's why he avoided going into buildings to find and save people – he was reckless, but he wasn't stupid. His Quirk was more suited for battle than helping dig people out of buildings that could collapse at any moment. And now, with him being tired, he would be even less helpful. Thus, he surmised that if he was running out of energy, then he had to head back to camp (regardless of how much he didn't want to – he wanted to keep finding people, to actually help, to not be in the way…), because if he didn't have energy, he couldn't protect himself – be it from falling buildings or from any Villains that might be around reaping the benefits of the disaster. With that in mind, he started running back to where he came from, keeping his hopes high that maybe some of his surviving classmates were waking up. Sure, he didn't really like the damn extras, but he'd take small victories wherever he could get them right now. He was sure everyone else felt the same way too. Seeing people wake up was better than watching them die.

But then he stopped, thinking that he heard something. He looked to his right, listening closely. He narrowed his eyes, cautiously turning to face the shop, his eyes searching through the broken windows of the architectural dregs, seeking out what that sound could have been, if he'd really heard it. It had been quiet, so he wasn't really sure–

"H-Help! P-Please, somebody, I-I can't get out! I'm here, please, please help me, I'm here!"

Now he was certain.

He could see that the floor had caved in in the corner of the structure, the footing sloped down.

"Please! Please, I, I'm trapped, please help! Someone! Anyone!"

Katsuki shouldn't go in there. He knew that. He had overused his Quirk already, and what energy he had left, he had to use to get back to his class in one piece. This should be left to Pros…

"PLEASE! SOMEONE, ANYONE, PLEASE! PLEASE, HEAR ME! I'M HERE! I'M HERE!" the cries were more desperate. Maybe the person had heard Katsuki as he was running by before he stopped. Katsuki swallowed, jumping in through one of the broken windows, treading carefully on the uneven tile and surveying the floor he was on before looking down the sloped ground that led to the floor below.

"Where are ya?!"

"Oh, thank God! Down here! I-I'm down here!"

Katsuki squinted, looking down into the darkness below him. He crouched, carefully sliding down. The hole was deeper than he thought – it would be a pain to get back up, especially with an injured civilian. Even so, he had chosen this. He knew it was dangerous, but… he was aiming to be a Hero. This was part of his job, right?

Once his footing was steady enough, his eyes scanned the area, quickly becoming used to the low amount of light that was provided through the hole that he'd come down from. He followed his ears to where most of the rubble was, and spoke again.

"Oi! Ya in here?!"

"Y-Yes! I-I'm here, I'm here!" Katsuki heard some scuffling behind the rocks and sighed, looking up – this situation was dangerous at best. The man was lucky to be alive. The debris must have fallen in a way that entombed him without crushing him. If that was the case, then…

"Ya alright?"

"I-I'm a little banged up, but nothing bad! J-Just stuck!" Katsuki heard more attempted digging.

"Oi! Stop that!"

"H-Huh?"

"If yer stuck in a cavity in there and ya dig recklessly, it'll all fall on ya. There's a lot of stuff above ya and we need to be careful about this."

_If only he'd followed his own advice._

"R-Right!" The man squeaked back, fear evident in his voice.

"Just leave gettin' ya out to me."

_If only he hadn't been so over-confident._

"O-Okay! T-Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you–"

"Shut up! I need to think." He carefully observed the pile trapping the man before looking up. The building itself wasn't sound in the least when it came to its stability. The pile on the man looked to be part of what was holding up the remainder of the floor above them. How was he going to do this? He had to think. Think like damn Deku always did. Analyze the situation in front of him and act based on that.

His eyes wandered back to the pile over the man, and finally, it clicked. He could see a week spot in it all – a spot that didn't seem to be affecting the integrity of the rubble's stability in any way. Perfect.

_If only he had gone to get a Pro-Hero instead of trying to save someone on his own._

He slowly removed the rubble, rock after brick after chunk of wood. When some of the pieces were too big or stuck a little too tightly for him to move, he used his quirk to break them down a little or help him dislodge them.

_He couldn't save anyone. He should have learned after what happened with Izuku. After he led the city to this outcome in the first place._

Finally, he could see into the cavity where the man was trapped. He was a frail-looking fellow, scared out of his wits. He saw that Katsuki was almost to him, though, and his expression brightened. He crawled to where Katsuki was, helping to remove some of what was left in the way, making an opening just barely large enough to get the man through.

_If only Katsuki had been more careful._

Katsuki reached his hand in, his other holding onto the edge of the hole he'd dug. The man laughed, tears in his eyes as he took hold of the teenager's outstretched palm.

"Thank you, thank you!"

Katsuki started to pull him through, pushing himself back with his other hand in order to help him get the man up and out.

He pushed a little too hard, and it nudged the piece of rubble he'd been holding on to. The pile started to rumble, and with it, the half of the building that the man was under. Katsuki panicked and tried to speed up, but this made it worse. His sweat had made his hands slippery, so the man couldn't grip him well enough, his hand sliding out of Katsuki's grasp, and Katsuki stumbled backwards and landed on his bottom. The civilian screamed for a moment as everything crumbled on him with a sick, wet, cracking sound, so quickly and violently that it cut off the hand that had been in Katsuki's own hand just moments before, sending it flying past Katsuki, blood gushing out of it and splattering onto the wide-eyed blonde and everything it flew past before landing with a thump somewhere behind the teenager's left side.

Everything was silent for a moment as the building re-settled.

Katsuki stared at the pile. He watched as dark, crimson fluid pooled out from beneath it, into the small amount of light trickling from above.

"O-Oi…"

He was trembling as he willed himself back to his feet, walking back to the more condensed pile, ignoring how unsafe it was. He fell to his knees before it and, stupidly, he started to try to dig through it again.

"H-Hey…! Hey, come on! S-Say somethin'!"

He was too distracted to feel when the blood started to saturate the area of his pants over his knees. He was too distracted to hear when a voice called into the building, sounding alarmed and asking if anyone was there and if everyone was alright.

"Hey! Come on! We almost had ya out! I-I'll save ya, just say somethin'! Say somethin' like ya did when I was runnin' by! Come on! Hey! HEY!"

He stumbled back when he found the tenderized and flattened end of the arm that was now without a hand. He felt nausea run through him at the sight of the torn, squashed meat, crushed and cracked bone sticking out from it. He lumbered backward, turning away, unable to keep himself from retching.

"…Young Bakugou?"

Tears dropped from the teen's eyes like rain onto the ground beneath him and he looked up, seeing the deflated form of All Might standing above him, at the top of the hole where the floor caved and sloped downward from.

"Is that you, my boy?"

Katsuki remained silent, standing upright and wiping vomit from his mouth. He was tense as he shook, pointing behind him to the pile where the dead lay.

"H-Help him."

Toshinori carefully stumbled down the tiled hill, walking past his student to look at what he was pointing at. His heart sank when he saw the blood and the unmoving piece of man that had been uncovered. He looked back at Katsuki, noticing the severed arm beyond him but not bringing it up. He approached the explosive boy, and Katsuki tried to fight him off when he wrapped his bony arms around him, screeching at Toshinori to back off.

"No! What the fuck are ya doin', stop! HELP HIM! SAVE HIM, YA FUCKIN' DUMBASS! SAVE… save him…" he wailed, his fists finally stopping hitting the Hero as he hunched over, crying onto the man's chest.

"I'm so sorry, my boy."

No.

"Whoever that was, they're gone. I can't save them."

No. No. No.

"Y-You have to try!" Katsuki begged. "He– I-I–! It's my fault, he, I was an idiot!"

"Shh…" Toshinori tried to soothe him.

"I should have gone for help! I should have found a Pro, but, instead, instead I!" He shook as he let out an ugly sob. Toshinori understood what he'd been trying to tell him and felt pain pierce his heart. Katsuki was young. He tried to do more than he could handle, and as a result…

The aging Hero looked at the ocean of blood that seeped from beneath the debris.

As a result of doing more than he could, and as a result of his inexperience, he'd had to witness someone die.

"It wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was!"

Toshinori grabbed the boy by his shoulders, pushing back and looking seriously into his quivering, tear-filled red eyes.

"Listen to me. This isn't your fault. Even if experienced Pro-Heroes had been here, this would have been a difficult rescue to accomplish." The boy was quiet as he said that, so he continued. "Even if you'd gotten help, even if people with more experience had been here, this still would have likely happened."

Katsuki looked away from him. He sighed, looking up into the dimming light. It was getting late.

"Now, come. You were supposed to stay at the camp with your classmates today. I'm sure Recovery Girl and the other school faculty there have noticed your absence and are worried. I'll take you there, but remember – you can't tell anyone that I'm All Might when we get there, so just call me Yagi when I'm like this." It was especially important right now to uphold his image, after all. He may not see it himself anymore, with how pathetic he felt, but he was still everyone's number one hero. He was still their pillar, giving them hope during such trying times as these.

The boy was silent, merely looking away. Toshinori wanted to press, but he decided he'd trust the boy with his secret. After all, it had been a day since the teenager discovered that All Might wasn't always 'All Might,' and he hadn't said anything. Besides, it was clear that All Might and his problems weren't on the child's mind at the moment. He had just witnessed something horrible, so it was… understandable.

It was worrying to the fledgling teacher, but after that, Katsuki was surprisingly obedient as Toshinori led him back to his peers and other teachers. The other UA teachers were clearly ready to scold him, but stopped when they saw the look on the skeletal-man's face. Even if not everyone knew who he was, no one was willing to speak against them when they realized how grim and bloody the two looked.

Recovery Girl was quick to look them over, and Toshinori quietly told her what happened. About the woman who died in his arms, about how helpless he'd felt when administering CPR, about how useless he'd felt when he gave the body to a wailing husband and a little girl who couldn't understand why her mommy wouldn't wake up. He told her about Bakugou's attempt to save someone, and that the boy had witnessed a gruesome death first-hand.

The old woman nodded as she listened, somber and supportive as she almost always was. She looked between Toshinori and Katsuki, taking a deep breath and sighing before speaking up, catching the attention of both of the blonde males before her.

"Toshinori, why do you always smile?"

"Huh…?"

"Why do you always smile?"

The sunken-eyed man looked at her seriously, noticing the red eyes that stared so intensely at his side.

"When you're working, whey do you always smile?"

"…I smile because I can't save everyone." Recovery Girl nodded, and Toshinori was certain he felt the uncertainty emanating from the boy beside him. "I smile for the people I'm saving, to show them that they're okay. I smile for the people watching, to show them to not fear. And I smile for the people I can't get to in time, to show them that the people they leave behind are safe and in good hands. Even if I couldn't save them, I'll be able to save others. I can't save everyone. I'm a human. And humans make mistakes. So, for that reason… For the people I can't get to, I smile." Recovery Girl beamed at him, nodding again. Toshinori felt tears prickling in his eyes.

"That's right. So, Toshinori, what should you be doing now?"

"Smiling!" he grinned, his self-destructive thoughts temporarily leaving him. Even if he wasn't All Might to everyone now, he was still All Might. He was still a Hero. He was still a teacher.

He looked at the boy next to him, sharing his smile with him, laughing a little through his tears when he saw the flabbergasted and agitated look on his student's face. The explosive boy unfortunately didn't keep eye contact long and looked down at his hands.

"…Yer an idiot like stupid Deku…" he mumbled. Toshinori felt the melancholy feelings creeping back into his mind at that statement, anxiety clawing at his throat.

"You smile even though you fail." Toshinori's grin faltered.

"But… You don't give up." Toshinori blinked in surprise as Katuski looked into his eyes with determination. "Right?"

"R-Right!"

"Then… will you tell me somethin'?" His eyes flickered at Recovery Girl and she took the hint, leaving the two to talk in what privacy could be provided to them.

Once she was gone, Toshinori tilted his head and looked at the boy curiously. "What is it?"

"I… I couldn't save that man today."

"It isn't your fault–"

"Let me finish, ya old geezer."

Toshinori was surprised at being called that, but somehow, for some reason that he couldn't put his finger on, it made him smile.

"Okay. Please continue."

"I couldn't save him, so…" He paused, his train of thought seeming to be everywhere when he continued. "And I bullied Deku into wanting to die. I told him to die, before he ran into you."

Toshinori's eyes widened and his smile fell. Katsuki pointedly looked away.

"I told him that if he wanted to be a Hero so bad, he should pray to be one in his next life and jump off a roof. And he… he did that. So if I can't save a stranger that I never did nothin' wrong to, how could I ever hope to save a kid that I baited into killing himself?"

Toshinori didn't know what to say. He had planned to talk to Katsuki about Young Midoriya after their talk the other day. He knew that, based on what the boy had said, the two had history, but he… he hadn't expected it to be this serious. His face contorted as he lost himself deep in thought, wondering how he could help Katsuki and how he could help the boy that the both of them had failed.

"We... We'll figure that out later," he said to the boy. Later, he'd have the school look into helping Bakugou with counseling and therapy, if he could. He took a deep breath, still deep in thought as he looked up at the sky as it changed colors with the sunset.

His mind started to race, though, as he looked at that sky.

As he remembered the mother he'd failed today.

"…Young Bakugou. This is… terribly off topic, but I have to ask."

Katsuki looked up at him. "What is it?"

"Young Midoriya… Does he have any relatives…?" In the year that All Might had been searching for the boy, he'd never thought to find out.

"He… He has a mother."

"Do you know her well? Or at least, do you know where to find her?"

"…Why…?"

"Because, if you do, we should pay her a visit. Or, at least, I will. It's been a year since Young Midoriya was last seen." He could hear as Katsuki swallowed beside him. He sighed and finished his thought.

"Don't you think that… regardless of the circumstances… she deserves to know that her son is alive?"

**A/N: Thank you all so much for reading! I may edit this one more. It's so long, I'm sure I missed some things. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it!**


	4. Mother

**A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long! I had it written but then accidentally deleted it, and it killed my motivation for writing for a while, especially with COVID shenanigans happening non-stop along with, just, everything. It didn't help that I ended up completely changing the chapter because I wasn't happy with its original plotline (and while I'm a whole lot happier with it now, I'm still iffy on it (dialogue has never been my strong suit, even though I'm decent at it (I just have the hardest time actually writing it))), and then I started debating on the order of some of the chapters. In the end, I decided that this makes the most sense here rather than one of the other ones in my story template, so here it finally is!  
Thank you all for being so patient, and I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

**Also, disclaimer: I know that nothing is set in stone regarding Izuku's father yet, and that the canon answer will soon be revealed (according to the wonderful author of MHA), but this scenario, just like the rest of the non-canon material in this Fic, is canon to this Fic. It just fits and gives me so many things to write about in the future, so I hope you'll bear with it.**

**_CHAPTER CONTENT WARNING: SELF-HARM, SELF-BLAME, SHIFTING BLAME, MENTIONED PARENTAL ABANDONMENT, MENTIONED SUICIDE PLANNING AND IDEATION, AND STAGES OF GRIEF PLAY A BIG ROLL IN THIS CHAPTER. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED._**

Midoriya Inko still wasn't used to the quiet that filled her home, even after a year of being by her lonesome. It had gotten quiet when her husband had left her and her son, but nothing was as horrifying to her as the complete silence that followed when her darling child, her sweet Izuku, had disappeared.

She sighed joylessly as she worked on cleaning dishes from her dinner, which hadn't been much – just some rice with a couple of eggs mixed in and some tea that was poorly brewed. Ever since Izuku vanished from her life, she hadn't really put much effort into what she cooked, not being in the mood to put in the work to make a good meal when it was only for herself. Even so, she had gained a bit more weight since she had been eating takeout much more often than she used to and because, like when her husband left, she got into a bad habit of stress eating. It wasn't healthy, she knew that, but eating felt better to her than the overwhelming feeling of destitution that her mind was now riddled with.

Her movements slowed on the bowl that she was cleaning, the hand that was holding the sponge swirling on the dish mindlessly as tears began to silently flow from her eyes, streaming down her cheeks like sorrowful rivers, dripping their feelings of anguish into the dishwater below.

She didn't know how to go on living. Her son had been her entire reason for going on after her husband, Hisashi, had left for work overseas and had… well… _ended_ things with her and cut his ties to her and Izuku.

He hadn't taken well to learning that Izuku was Quirkless. It had caused so many fights between him and herself, and, finally, he packed his things and left without once looking back.

She knew that he'd left out of shame (which, deep down, she understood, though she'd never admit to it – Izuku, regardless of having no Quirk, regardless of being different, was her pride and joy, and admitting to understand her husband's actions made her feel like an awful mother), but it certainly didn't excuse his blatant abandonment of them. He still sent money – _occasionally_ – out of guilt, no doubt, but it was a far cry from a visit, especially to Izuku. She started scrubbing her bowl a little harder without paying attention as anger started to seep into her veins alongside the sorrow over her missing son.

There were years when Izuku had only asked for a visit from him for Christmas or for his birthday, or something as small as a letter or a phone call. No toys were on his wish lists during those years, and while All Might merchandise had made him happy, such happiness was only temporary – especially to a child who was both innocently naïve and (unfortunately) intelligent beyond reason.

Even with how young he was, he had pieced together that his father _wasn't_ coming back. Even with how young he was, he _knew_ that the reason his father was gone had something to do with him, and no matter how many times she had told him otherwise, she could see that he had always felt that it was all his fault. (His eyes, back then, never once betrayed her. They couldn't hide how he felt back then, especially from her - _unlike_ how they could hide his feelings before he disappeared, with eyes the size of moons that shone with happiness… or so she thought. She should have paid more attention. If she had, maybe then she would have seen that, like the false light of the moon, that happy light his eyes had shown was merely a faux joy. It was no more than a reflection of what society – what _she_ – had wanted to see.)

She took a deep breath, thinking of how often Izuku willed himself to magically manifest a Quirk of some kind. Willed himself to be a child worth having. A child worth visiting for at _least_ special occasions. She had heard him, some nights, praying to any deity or spirit whom may have been listening to him to bring his father home. If not for _him_, for _her_. It shattered her heart when she heard him.

And… no matter how she had begged his father to do any of the simple tasks Izuku had asked for in her emails to him (Why did she even try?), he'd never delivered. He ignored them completely. He simply did not care, she was sure (But if that were true, why did he send them money? How did he know to send a check every time they were having particularly bad monetary troubles?). Thinking about it – about the lonely cries and begging from her son, about the apologies he spoke to her over and over again about driving Hisashi away, about being useless and Quirkless, about being a **failure** – it turned her blood into magma. She was furious about it, even now, so many years later.

What if Hisashi was the reason that her baby was now gone? What if Izuku _**still**_ blamed himself for Hisashi abandoning them for all these years and left so that Hisashi would come home to Inko (She remembered the many times he'd asked her when he was younger, over a small bowl of rice, if she was happy. If she loved him. If she wished he was never born, and if she wished her husband was still with her. How could she respond correctly to such things? What was it that he wanted – no, _needed_ – to hear? Of _course_ she loved him. Of _course_ she was glad that he was born. Of _course_ she wished that Hisashi had been more open, like she had been, and that he stayed with them. But even after reassuring Izuku, his smile never reached his eyes, which meant she hadn't answered correctly. Where had she messed up? What had she said wrong?)? What if the crumpled attempts at suicide notes in Izuku's waste basket that she had found after his disappearance were because of feelings that he still had as a result of Hisashi leaving them?

She bit her lip, sobbing openly now.

Maybe some of it _was_ _indeed_ his fault.

But _she_ was still Izuku's mother.

_She_ was the one who raised him.

_She_ was the one whom had been with him all this time, believed when he said the bruises and burns that often decorated his skin were from his own recklessness and not from a bully until the day that that damn Bakugou Katsuki nearly killed him. When he went back to school after healing from that horrible incident, it was better for a while, but then the scars started to appear again, and she could do nothing as their damn middle school protected Bakugou Katsuki with everything it had.

She shouldn't have given in when Izuku told her to lift the restraining order that she had been working to get put in place. She shouldn't have allowed Izuku and Mitsuki to convince her not to file charges against Katsuki. She should have followed through. She should have pulled Izuku out of that school and found somewhere else, regardless of their financial situation and regardless of what Izuku had said. She should have… She _should_ have…

She _should_ have done better. But she didn't. Sure, she had talked to the Bakugous themselves about their son, especially after the assault had occurred, and they really were trying, as parents, to better his behavior, so she didn't blame them. She didn't blame anyone who was sincerely making an effort to correct bad behavior.

She certainly _did_ blame the school, though.

In fact, she tried to sue the school for its part in the torment of her son. Unfortunately, even though it was a smaller school that was not prestigious in the slightest, she lost the case. They used Bakugou Katsuki's exemplary record and impressive Quirk to convince the judge that he would do nothing of the sort, that they were a fine establishment raising a few soon-to-be future Heroes and that they'd NEVER allow bullying, yada yada yada (if only she'd had Mitsuki there, but she'd already caused her friend enough trouble over their children – or rather, now that she was thinking about it again, had she not caused enough?).

The school even counter-sued for defamation and won. She and Izuku were only able to eat rice for a long time after that (her stress somehow kept her from losing much weight, and watching Izuku whither, while already being such a small boy, only stressed her further). To rub salt into the wound, the school's principal approached her privately and said that if she tried to pull something like that again, Izuku could get a mark on his record, or his grades could be threatened, or he could be expelled – or a mixture of the three. She couldn't risk that, that would have ruined his future! She couldn't ruin her baby's future…

But… had she ruined it anyway?

She tried to have him transfer schools, but it was late in the school year and her dear, sweet boy told her it was okay, that she shouldn't waste her money on getting him into a different school, and that he'd pull through and make her proud. That memory – _**those damned words**_ – sparked something akin to hatred within her.

Now the flames of her rage were even licking at the edges of her memories of him.

If he was going to make her proud, if he was going to pull through, then what was he thinking, writing suicide notes?! Why wouldn't he just talk to her, why was he so _worried_ about _worrying_ her?!

She screamed, raising her arm and slamming her bowl into the sink, breaking it. Its shards flew all over, but she didn't care as she sank down to the floor. She was an ugly crier whenever she got like this, but that didn't matter. She wailed, punching at the floor, her desperate mind fueled with rage and hurt, her agony and heartache forcing adrenaline to seep through her like an ugly sludge and causing her to not register any pain when her hands became bruised and bloodied, littered with shards of her broken dish.

How could she have been so blind? Izuku's smile had been so _radiant_ when he was small, how did she not notice how _wilted_ it had become? Her baby was in so much pain and she wasn't able to see or do anything about it. She wasn't able to help him.

If he ran away, she just hoped that he was well and happy wherever he was now. She didn't deserve him. Stars, she tried, but she knew she had failed him. She had failed him in every way, at every important turn in his life. She led him astray and now he was gone.

She really hoped that he had run away. The other possibilities… they were just too… they were just too much. If he didn't run away, he could have been kidnapped. Sold in a trafficking ring. Murdered.

He could have committed suicide, like his notes implied he had wanted to do. His body could be somewhere hidden from sight but so painfully obviously there, exposed to the elements and rotting.

What if his remains were in a garbage dump or burned, and she didn't even know? His… his suicide notes… Would he not only throw his life away, butthrow _himself_ away… _literally_? He wrote like he was nothing more than trash, so, _would_ he…?

She slammed her hands down again, defeated. This time she felt it when shards dug into her, and she certainly felt the ones that she had just hammered deeper into her flesh. She whimpered but didn't care. She was making a bloody mess, but she _didn't care_.

Izuku was _**gone**_. That was the only thing that she cared about. He was _**gone**_. There had been no sign of him since he ran to help Bakugou Katsuki escape from the Sludge Villain. He just… disappeared. No trace of him, besides his bedroom and the records that proved he had existed were left behind. Even though it hurt her, she slammed her hands down again, the flashes of pain refreshing to her and assuring her that, even though her heart was so terribly broken, she was still alive. She could still fight to find him (even though the police had mostly given up their search – how could they search for someone when there was nothing to go on? No leads, no sightings, _nothing._) and bring him home so long as she didn't give up.

She sniffled, the salt from her tears finally starting to sting at her eyes. She took a deep breath, held it in for a moment, then exhaled slowly. She took a moment to collect herself, still not paying any heed to the injuries she had caused to her hands – they hurt, and she was sure some of the ceramic was too deep for her to be able to get out on her own, but that was okay. She had deserved to feel that pain. She completely and utterly deserved punishment for failing as a mother to the sweetest angel to ever be born. She deserved to be reprimanded for failing a boy who, even while Quirkless, dared to dream of being a Hero and risked his life in order to save the life of a boy whom had tormented him for nearly his whole life.

…She almost hoped that she had caused her hands some permanent damage, or at least scarring, to remind her of her failure each time she looked at them from then on.

Quietly, she started to pick up the shards from the floor, but then jumped, startled, when there was a gentle knock at her door.

* * *

Bakugou Katsuki had never been more scared in his life. Sure, the time he had almost killed Izuku was terrifying, and it was absolutely horrifying that he had managed to aid in the development of a Supervillain who used to be the kindest and most diligent person he knew, but those terrors would never compare to the absolute fear that he felt now, standing in front of the Midoriya residence with the strange, skeletal form of All Might.

Needless to say, he was beginning to have some second thoughts.

Midoriya Inko was in no way a fan of his. In fact, if she was a more violent person, he was certain that she would have killed him ages ago. She seemed so small and meek and like someone who was as gentle as a flower, like stupid Deku was for all the years Katsuki had known him. However, her will was a force to be reckoned with, and seeing her anger was like looking into the sheer coldness of the circle of Hell where Satan himself resided, half frozen, but still every sinner's keeper.

She wasn't exactly a rough and tough person when it came to her physiology, and it wasn't like he was a scrawny weakling like Izuku, but…

_Well_…

She could fucking _snap him in half like a twig if she really wanted to_. He shivered at the thought. A mother's wrath was truly the most terrifying thing in the world. The most terrifying thing that he could think of, anyway, and it was one hundred percent the most horrific thing that he had ever witnessed and experienced himself (not counting witnessing the death of that person that he could have – _should_ have – saved. But his mind was blocking that out right now. It was better if he kept that repressed).

All Might seemed just as hesitant as he was to proceed beyond this point. It was like a Wizard or something from one of those ancient nerd films was blocking them. He could practically hear an old geezer yelling "You shall not pass!" at them over the deafening silence of night.

All Might broke the quiet by clearing his throat, and Katsuki averted his eyes to the side to look at the man.

"This is where Young Midoriya's mother lives, then?"

Katsuki looked back at the building, sighing and scratching nervously at the back of his head. "…Yeah. This is it."

"I'm… I'm glad that it survived the attack."

Katsuki flinched a little at that. It was still hard to believe that so many places in the city had been destroyed in the blink of an eye. That hundreds – no, thousands of lives were lost in a single day. It was devastating. A day of learning at a rescue training site called USJ was cut short by a mass, well-coordinated attack by a group called the League of Villains.

He wondered how much of it was planned by Izuku.

"It was probably purposefully avoided."

This time, it was All Might's turn to flinch, being reminded that the young boy he failed had indeed helped with the destruction and death that they were now surrounded by.

Katsuki watched as the Hero nervously looked back up at the apartment building. He never thought he'd see the Number One Hero look so apprehensive about something like this.

"What're ya so scared of, ya damn geezer?" All Might perked up and looked at him.

"Well, it's just, you see… I'm just trying to figure out how to explain who I am, and… and how to tell her that he… well…"

"That he helped in the attack."

"Yeah. That."

Katsuki supposed that that was fair.

"Why are _you_ hesitating so much, Young Bakugou?" Shit. He should have guessed that All Might would have seen his hesitation, too. He… He supposed that he should be honest. It might come back to bite him if he wasn't. No, it – it would definitely come back to bite him.

"She wasn't exactly blind to how I treated him."

"I… I see." The skeletal man seemed to ponder on that for a moment. "I'll have to talk to you later about that, among other things."

"Tche." Katsuki should have been expecting that, too.

"Still, I've never seen you hesitate quite this much. At school, you're always one of the first to plunge right into any situation without a thought."

"This is… This is a little different from school."

"Is she that frightening?"

"You have _**no**_ fucking idea." He heard the Hero swallow. "She looks like she couldn't hurt a fly, but–"

"But she could defeat an army all by herself?" Katsuki nodded. That seemed rather accurate.

"…I see."

"Yeah."

"So that's how it is."

"Yeah."

"Rather scary–"

"Can we just get this over with?"

"Oh, yes, of course. …Which door?"

Oh. Right. He was the one leading the Hero.

_Fuck_.

Fuck, he did not want to be here. There were a _million places _he _didn't want to be_, and this was at the _very top of that list_. Fifty fucking gold stars to Midoriya Inko for being such an imposing person without even having to be seen.

"Well… ya better keep up."

Yagi simply nodded to his retort, following closely behind him as he led him up some stairs, passed a few doors, then came to a stop. He took a deep breath, and then both Katsuki and All Might jumped when they heard some screaming and banging coming from inside. They tried knocking, but the screaming just kept coming. The skeletal man was about to try to break in the door, but then it went quiet, and then he heard the sounds of someone sobbing. Katsuki had a guilty and fearful expression on his face, which he was, even now, trying to mask with a look of anger. All Might placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, nodded to him, then, after some moments passed… tried knocking again.

"C-Coming!" The two heard a voice respond, and Katsuki became tense. They heard some shuffling, some quick footsteps, and then the door swung open. "S-Sorry to have kept you waiting! I–! …Oh." The woman before them was shorter, and stocky. Her hair was green like Izuku's, but a little bit darker, Yagi noted, and it was long and much more tame than the curly mess that he remembered Izuku's being. Her eyes were large and expressive almost exactly like her son's, though.

The skeletal Hero couldn't help but blush. The woman before him was… Well, her glare at Katsuki was imposing, for sure, and he was certain that she could easily put even the most powerful of Heroes and Villains on edge, but…

Well…

How could he put it?

It was like… looking at a seal. One of the pudgy, round ones that were smaller and playful. Everyone knew that they could be dangerous, as they were powerful wild animals, but one couldn't help but smile at how cute they were, regardless of the destruction they could undoubtedly cause.

The woman glared, her eyes darting between Katsuki and Toshinori Yagi as she thought of how to react to their visit.

The Hero wondered how she'd respond to such a situation as this. Someone she clearly disliked, most likely on behalf of her son, and a complete stranger standing at her door. She was certainly taking her time to consider what course of action she should take. Yet again, it reminded him of a seal. Graceful and beautiful as it swam around, but deadly when it finally chose its course of attack.

"…Come in." Katsuki trembled and let out a breath, pulling his shoulder away from Yagi's hand and entering, treading carefully past the woman without a word, but still politely taking off his shoes and stopping to look and see if he could find any slippers for a guest to wear. When he couldn't find any, he stood to the side, deciding to wait to see if she'd bring out any before he'd step further.

Yagi was, of course, extra polite. "Thank you, Midoriya-san. Sorry for the intrusion." He smiled, voicing Katsuki's question for him. "Do you have any house slippers that the boy and I may borrow – Oh! Midoriya-san, your hands!" from the corner of his eyes, he saw Katsuki tense up more than he already had been, then his eyes widened when he saw the blood.

"Is yer first aid kit in the same place it was when De-Izuku and I were kids?!" Before the woman could answer, he took off, not caring about not wearing any guest slippers for the moment. It made Yagi smile a little. The woman, however, seemed to be at a loss, staring after the teenager with confusion and a hint of guilt, but anger was still mixed in.

"While he does that, why don't we get your hands rinsed off so we can properly see your wounds and help you clean them?"

"I… No. I'm sorry, but I can handle it–"

"It's hard dealing with hand injuries by yourself, Midoriya-san. Please let me help you with them. O-Oh! How rude of me, I haven't even introduced myself! My name is Toshinori Yagi, Midoriya-san. It's a pleasure to meet you. Now, please, allow me to help you with your wounds."

"I…" Inko sighed, reluctantly giving in with a nod. Yagi smiled as she led him into her home, and he closed her door behind him. She stopped, though, before continuing into the kitchen.

"It's… a mess in here. I apologize, Toshinori-san."

Yagi looked past her, his eyes widening yet again when he saw the mess of shattered ceramic and blood, then looked down at the guilty-looking woman. He could practically see the emotions radiating from her – they were very mixed-up, conflicted, and uncertain about everything.

"When Young Bakugou comes back with your first aid kit–"

"AUNTIE!" The woman flinched when Bakugou's voice called out to her, and Yagi found it interesting that he chose to call her 'auntie' of all things.

"Speak of the devil – well, I'll have him clean this up, and we can get you taken care of while he does that. Okay, Midoriya-san? After we're finished up with that, I'll explain why we're here. Does that sound alright with you?" The woman pondered this as the explosive boy showed up, looking a bit panicked as his eyes met with those of the injured woman at the other side of the kitchen. She sighed again, glaring tiredly up at the Hero.

He could see how tired she was, and the puffiness of her eyes indicated that she had been crying, just as he'd assumed given the sobbing that he and Katuski had heard before being let inside. However, he didn't want to bring it up; that would be rude.

"Alright."

"Excellent!" He offered the best smile he could muster – he was sure it looked scary given his current appearance, but it was all he could do. He turned and walked to Katsuki, taking the first aid kit from him, ruffling his hair and asking him to clean the mess in the kitchen – along with telling him to be careful because it was dangerous. The boy looked at anything but him and the green-haired woman, making that signature 'tche' sound and then he walked past them to do as he was asked.

"Alright, then, Midoriya-san. Would you please tell me where your bathroom is, so that we can get your hands taken care of?" The adorably portly woman nodded, pointing him along the way, and he happily escorted her. When they arrived at her humble apartment's washroom, he began to gently rinse the blood from her hands so that he could see the damage done better, and grimaced when he saw how deep some of the ceramic pieces had gone.

"Does your first aid kit have tweezers, Midoriya-san?" he asked as he opened the kit in question. "If not, I may have to take you to a hospital…"

"T-They're under the gauze." Toshinori blinked, looking back at the small… on second glance, this kit was actually quite large, and well-stocked, which wasn't at all what he had been expecting. Sure enough, when he moved the gauze aside, there the tweezers were.

"Ah! So they are." He took out the small tool and, after ensuring that it was sterile, began working at retrieving each piece of ceramic he could find in her wounded hands with the utmost care, warning her each time he had to do something. As he did so, he decided to make small talk, figuring that it might make the tense atmosphere at least a little bit more bearable for the both of them.

"You have a rather impressive first-aid kit." It was a dumb conversation starter, but it _was_ a start. A bad start, though, apparently, given her pained expression that followed after he made his remark – or perhaps it _was_ good, given the topic that it had inadvertently led to. It made it easier to talk about her son if she brought the boy up first, after all.

"I… My son got hurt a lot, so I…"

"…Ah." When he looked at everything in the kit, some things sort of… fell into place in his brain. Especially the items meant for relieving and healing burns. He'd… He'd _**really**_ have to have a long talk with Katsuki about everything that went on that made him so certain that he was the main cause for Izuku's change-of-heart regarding his occupation. "I know I said I'd explain why Young Bakugou and I came here after you were cared for, but, I… That boy is actually why we're here." He saw her eyes shoot wide open, and she turned to look at him, hope and fear both clouding her expression.

"I'll explain in further detail when we are done dealing with your hands, but perhaps I should start by properly introduce myself." He smiled, then. It was pained, and he was sure, again, that it was frightening, but he smiled as big of a grin as he could.

"You see… I know that I don't look like much right now, but… I hear that your son is my biggest fan."

This definitely caused a baffled expression on the woman, so he continued. "Who is your son's favorite hero, Midoriya-san?"

"All Mig…" She stopped, her face becoming pale. She started to shake just as he disinfected and wrapped her now-clean and empty gashes. "No, you… You can't be."

"I am."

"But you–"

"I know, it's hard to believe. I'm not much to look at when I'm not doing my work. I can show you once we get out to your living room, if you'd like." She nodded at that after a moment's thought, deciding that she wanted proof that this man was who he said he was.

* * *

_All Might. All Might was __**in**__ her living room. _The skeletal man, after being led by her out to the living room (where the damned Bakugou child had sat, waiting for them) just… _transformed_. And he was _**All**_ _**Might**__._

The _**actual**_ All Might.

…All Might had cleaned her wounds, had seen her in such a miserable state, had–!

"I AM HERE, Midoriya-san! Now, I do hope that this is proof enough–"

"IT IS!" she squealed, a faint smile quivering on her lips.

…She was probably the most embarrassed about the fact that she had made him prove his identity to her. _Him_. _The Number One Hero._

…_Izuku's_… number one Hero…

"Y-You're really…" Just to be sure, she stepped towards him and touched one of his biceps, stumbling back upon finding that he was, indeed, real. _Completely and utterly real._ She pinched herself, flinching from the pain, then looked back. He was still there, so… This wasn't a dream. He really, truly was _real_. Real. Completely real.

Again, her mind went to how this man, this _wondrous hero_, was _standing in her living room_.

Izuku would have been so excited…

Oh, that's right! He had said–!

"M-My son! You said my son was why you were here, didn't you?! What did you mean by that!" She was trying not to get too excited. Fear still edged on the hope that she now felt, seeing **THE** All Might before her.

"Yeah. He's why this idiot hero and I are here." She glared at the blonde child but decided to take a breath to calm herself and sit down instead of saying anything to him.

"So… please explain. _Please_." Her legs bounced impatiently as she anxiously waited for them to speak. The two were silent for a few minutes, causing her anxiety levels to rise to heights she'd never imagined possible, but still she forced herself to be patient with them. Finally, All Might broke the imposing silence and spoke.

"Well… Midoriya-san, you see, I actually met your boy on the day that he disappeared, and ever since I heard the news, I've been searching for him whenever I have had the time away from my daily duties to do so."

It… It made her so… _**happy**_… to hear that. That this man – this _**Hero**_ – was searching for her Izuku. If he was searching for him, then finding him _couldn't_ be impossible.

"Then, did you…? I-I mean, have you found a-anything… Anything at all…?" Her voice was but a whisper.

"I didn't, but… Young Bakugou did."

This… surprised her. She turned back to the dreaded child, who, yet again, was looking anywhere but at her.

"You… You found something? W-What did you…?"

"Midoriya-san, please, take a deep breath. There's… There _is_ good news, but there is bad news as well, I'm afraid."

She nodded, deciding to take the hero's advice. She took a moment to steel herself, then, while keeping her eyes closed, she nodded for them to tell her whatever it was that they had to say.

It was Katsuki who spoke up, though… he was stammering. She… She never thought she'd hear him talk so… apprehensively.

"Auntie, Izuku is… He's alive."

Her breath hitched. Tears immediately formed in her eyes and began to flow.

"A-And… And the bad news…?"

It was All Might who spoke up this time. She could hear him softly reassuring the explosive teen across from her, saying he'd give her the bad news so that the child didn't have to. She found it very commendable of the hero to decide to be the bearer of ill tidings.

"Midoriya-san, your son is… currently, unreachable. I'm going to keep searching to find where he's been taken."

"Pl-Please elaborate, All Might-san." She was shaking more and more by the second. She knew that she was about to be told some very bad things, but her son was _alive_. He was _**alive**_…!

"He was taken by Villains. And while we don't know the circumstances that he's facing, according to Young Bakugou's account, it seems that he is not only unwell, but is acting as a Villain alongside his captors. It seems… It seems that much of the attack the other day was planned by your son. Or, at least, he helped carry it out."

Inko wailed, hearing that. Her baby. A _**Villain**_.

_Izuku was a Villain_…?

But… But that just wasn't right. Through her sobs, she tried to say that there was no way. They were wrong, they were lying, her baby wouldn't… But… But when she was finally able to see them through her tears, she saw their grave faces. She knew then that they weren't lying.

This truly was awful news.

And yet, they also spoke as though they were certain that Izuku wasn't acting as a Villain because he wanted to be. They spoke as though he was brainwashed, or forced, or… something. Perhaps one of the Quirks of the captors that All Might had spoken of was affecting Izuku. She hoped that that was the case. It didn't make it easier for her to process, but at least _then_ her baby still had hope to come back and be allowed a normal life. Or, at least, as normal as his life could be after (hopefully) unwillingly helping with a large-scale terrorist attack.

She could hear the Hero and the teenager speaking to her through her cries, though she couldn't really make out what it was that they were saying. She assumed that they were trying to calm her. She felt large bony hands come to be placed upon her shoulders from behind her, and the teen was somewhere in front of her, by the sounds of it. She opened her tearful eyes, and in one large, swift movement, she grabbed and pulled both of them to herself, hugging them out of nowhere before allowing a wobbly smile to adorn her face again.

"…He's alive…?" she asked out loud, hiccupping, which seemed to take them even more off guard than they had been just seconds before when she had grabbed them. She tightened her arms around them, holding them to her like only a relieved mother could.

"…Yeah. The… Izuku's alive, Auntie," Katsuki answered her. It was music to her ears for him to repeat it back to her, confirming to her once more that her son hadn't been killed, that he hadn't committed suicide, that he was still somewhere out there, _breathing_ and _living_. While he was with bad people right now, he was _**alive**_. And to her… to her, that was **more** than enough.

"Then… Then you can find him. You can help him. You can…" she raised her head, looking between the two.

"You can bring him _**home**_." Yet again, tears were flowing down her face like waterfalls. This time, though, they were awash with hope, pain and joy – but most of all, relief.

She watched shock flash in their eyes, determination causing their bodies to tense in a strong, promising way – a way that made her remember that Heroes were here before her and her child (rather, one Hero and one boy who was working to become one, though she still had her doubts about him, given their poor history together), and while Katsuki looked away from her for the umpteenth time since she had let him and All Might into her home, he did nod to her, just as All Might – who was back to being a skeleton again, now that she was paying attention enough to notice – smiled and agreed that such a feat was possible.

"Yes, Midoriya-san. I will do everything I can, I assure you. I _will_ find him. I _will_ save him. And… And I _will_ bring him home. I promise."

The woman laughed happily for the first time since her son had failed to come home that fateful night one whole year ago, and while she was still emotionally drained, light was finally finding its way back into her life, all thanks to the two who now stood before her.

She would never be able to thank them enough. Even if one of them _was_ Bakugou Katsuki.

She smiled at them, a true smile this time, and finally, she let them go, releasing them from her bear-like grasp.

"…Let me make the two of you some tea."

It was time to start smiling again. It was time to start eating well and brewing tea the right way again.

It was time for her to start truly _**living**_ again.

Her son – her Izuku – was alive.

And maybe, someday soon… he could be home, with her, once more.

**A/N: I hope you'll all let me know how you felt about this chapter. Did you enjoy it or not, and did you see any typos that I missed? If you did, please let me know so that I can fix them.****  
****As always, I hope you all have a lovely day and stay safe during these trying times.**


End file.
